themountie | Entry One: Video Entry

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Entry One: Video Entry

[The camera turns on to show what appears to be an actual cabin in the woods, quite small, but complete with a roaring fire blazing in the hearth. The man holding the camera is wearing full Mountie regalia, including a Stetson hat, and looks pleased as punch.]

My thanks for the accommodations, Admiral. It's rather more space than I need, but I'm sure I'll finds ways to fill it.

[There's a bark from offscreen, and the man raises an eyebrow and says, quite pointedly:] No. Not with Krispy Kremes. We don't even have a Krispy Kreme on board, as far as I know.

[He turns his attention back to the camera, clearing his throat.] I beg your pardon, everyone. My name is Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP. I first came to the Barge-- well, that's not important right now, but I'll be here as a warden for the time being. I'm very much looking forward to it. [Horrifyingly, this appears to be genuine.]

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Thank you, sir.

I knew a lawman who was quite attached to his hat -- different style, though. Both the Stetson and lawman.

Ah, yes, well -- it's a vital part of the uniform, you see. This one is particular to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, of course. [As he speaks, he takes off the hat, dusts off an imaginary bit of dust, flips it back onto his head, and straightens it carefully.] But there are several branches of law enforcement, in several countries, that require headgear of various kinds...

[He pauses in mid-straighten, his own lecture catching up to him.] Although I'll admit, I'm not familiar with any jurisdictions in the United States where a Stetson is still called for. If I have your accent right, that is.

[ Boyd seems to be enjoying the lecture, use of props and all. ]

Oh, the United States Marshals Service doesn't require a Stetson. I think Raylan -- that's my hat-wielding friend -- he just enjoys the callback to the Old West, when law enforcement was simpler and involved more shootin' and less paperwork. Besides, a Marshal looking like Clint Eastwood in his prime is a good way of keeping wrongdoers on their toes.

I suppose my next question is why you're in full uniform? I don't imagine the RCMP assigned you here.

[Similarly, Fraser seems quite interested in the brief character portrait, and makes a mental note to return to it. It's sure to be, he thinks, a story that any or all of the various Rays would enjoy upon his return home.]

Not... precisely officially, no. [He fingers his collar, looking slightly uncomfortable to admit that.] But I'm choosing to view it as something of a very extended foreign posting, similar to my last position in Chicago.

Very extended and very foreign. But as long as you consider yourself on duty, I suppose it's fitting.

You didn't bring a horse on board, did you?

[He nods, relieved -- Boyd gets it! The question, meanwhile, he takes entirely seriously.]

Not at the present time, no. I got a little bit out of the habit in Chicago.

[ And why wouldn't he? Clearly Boyd meant it entirely in earnest. ]

Well, I'm sure you'll get your chance to relearn it, if we ever drop anchor in, say, a Braveheart setting. Although in that particular case, you'd have to set the uniform aside and wear a skirt.

It's a kilt, actually. I'm not sure I follow -- do you mean we're likely to drop anchor in Scotland, medieval Scotland, or in the midst of the actual film Braveheart? Which was based on William Wallace, of course, so I suppose options two and three would be more or less the same -- although, I hear, with some critical differences.

I was just using Braveheart as an example, but I'd say either of those options is possible. If I had to guess which is most likely, I'd go with the ones involving a bloody uprising. I don't know what the Admiral's stance on Mel Gibson is, but he seems to enjoy a good bloodbath every now and then.

...I see.

...Would you mind elaborating on that last point, sir?

The bloodbaths? I haven't been here long myself, but I hear the last time the ship docked, people were brainwashed into stealing each other's organs. Braveheart would be pretty tame after that.

Well, he was drawn and--

Perhaps that's not relevant right now. Stealing each other's organs... you say.

That's a fair point.

And yes, that's what I've been told. Like I said, though, I've only been here about a month, and the worst I've personally experienced was a little piracy and a clash with a zombie captain.

I see. This would be connected with the "floods" I've now heard about?

Well, there's a slight difference in terminology -- ports are the various settings the Barge stops at, floods take place on the ship itself -- but it all falls under the general weirdness umbrella.

Ah. I see. [Some people get emotional when things bother them, or louder, or chattier, or just plain upset; but Fraser, he simply shuts down. Throughout this exchange, his shoulders have been stiffening, his expression going steadily more and more wooden, until finally he looks like he could have been carved from granite. It's not angry, or even cold -- just blank.]

Thank you for informing me, sir. Much appreciated.

You're welcome.

[ The tin soldier effect is a little disturbing to witness. A little disheartening, even. ]

Do you drink, Constable?

No, sir. I don't.

[ That's... unsurprising. ]

Well, I won't advise you to start, but I hope you've got a decent coping mechanism or two under your belt.

The CES might interest you.

Ah. [Something in his expression clears -- or, rather, animates -- a little at that.] That would be the Closed Ecological System, yes? I asked the Admiral specifically about it.

That's the one. I haven't had a chance to visit yet, but it should come in handy in case you contract cabin fever, and supposedly, it brings you closer to home. Your dog will appreciate the jogging opportunity, if nothing else.

Yes, I thought it might ameliorate the situation, being away from home again. Even Chicago had an outdoors of sorts... I'm afraid neither of us do well without fresh air. You don't feel the same-- I'm sorry, I never got your name.

Boyd Crowder. And I'm actually quite fond of the outdoors, coming from Eastern Kentucky. It's more that... well, I'm not sure how ready I am to confront an illusion of home.

Besides, I'd need an escort, or at least a permission slip to go in there.

You're an inmate, then? [The inmates are so polite! He feels good about this.] It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Crowder.

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