Entry One: Video Entry

[themountie]

[The camera turns on to show what appears to be an actual cabin in the woods, quite small, but complete with a roaring fire blazing in the hearth. The man holding the camera is wearing full Mountie regalia, including a Stetson hat, and looks pleased as punch.]

My thanks for the accommodations, Admiral. It's rather more space than I need, but I'm sure I'll finds ways to fill it.

[There's a bark from offscreen, and the man raises an eyebrow and says, quite pointedly:] No. Not with Krispy Kremes. We don't even have a Krispy Kreme on board, as far as I know.

[He turns his attention back to the camera, clearing his throat.] I beg your pardon, everyone. My name is Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP. I first came to the Barge-- well, that's not important right now, but I'll be here as a warden for the time being. I'm very much looking forward to it. [Horrifyingly, this appears to be genuine.]

Comments

[maybebatman]

Very extended and very foreign. But as long as you consider yourself on duty, I suppose it's fitting.

You didn't bring a horse on board, did you?

[themountie]

[He nods, relieved -- Boyd gets it! The question, meanwhile, he takes entirely seriously.]

Not at the present time, no. I got a little bit out of the habit in Chicago.

[maybebatman]

[ And why wouldn't he? Clearly Boyd meant it entirely in earnest. ]

Well, I'm sure you'll get your chance to relearn it, if we ever drop anchor in, say, a Braveheart setting. Although in that particular case, you'd have to set the uniform aside and wear a skirt.

[themountie]

It's a kilt, actually. I'm not sure I follow -- do you mean we're likely to drop anchor in Scotland, medieval Scotland, or in the midst of the actual film Braveheart? Which was based on William Wallace, of course, so I suppose options two and three would be more or less the same -- although, I hear, with some critical differences.

[maybebatman]

I was just using Braveheart as an example, but I'd say either of those options is possible. If I had to guess which is most likely, I'd go with the ones involving a bloody uprising. I don't know what the Admiral's stance on Mel Gibson is, but he seems to enjoy a good bloodbath every now and then.

[themountie]

...I see.

...Would you mind elaborating on that last point, sir?

[maybebatman]

The bloodbaths? I haven't been here long myself, but I hear the last time the ship docked, people were brainwashed into stealing each other's organs. Braveheart would be pretty tame after that.

[themountie]

Well, he was drawn and--

Perhaps that's not relevant right now. Stealing each other's organs... you say.

[maybebatman]

That's a fair point.

And yes, that's what I've been told. Like I said, though, I've only been here about a month, and the worst I've personally experienced was a little piracy and a clash with a zombie captain.

[themountie]

I see. This would be connected with the "floods" I've now heard about?

[maybebatman]

Well, there's a slight difference in terminology -- ports are the various settings the Barge stops at, floods take place on the ship itself -- but it all falls under the general weirdness umbrella.

[themountie]

Ah. I see. [Some people get emotional when things bother them, or louder, or chattier, or just plain upset; but Fraser, he simply shuts down. Throughout this exchange, his shoulders have been stiffening, his expression going steadily more and more wooden, until finally he looks like he could have been carved from granite. It's not angry, or even cold -- just blank.]

Thank you for informing me, sir. Much appreciated.

[maybebatman]

You're welcome.

[ The tin soldier effect is a little disturbing to witness. A little disheartening, even. ]

Do you drink, Constable?

[themountie]

No, sir. I don't.

[maybebatman]

[ That's... unsurprising. ]

Well, I won't advise you to start, but I hope you've got a decent coping mechanism or two under your belt.

The CES might interest you.

[themountie]

Ah. [Something in his expression clears -- or, rather, animates -- a little at that.] That would be the Closed Ecological System, yes? I asked the Admiral specifically about it.

[maybebatman]

That's the one. I haven't had a chance to visit yet, but it should come in handy in case you contract cabin fever, and supposedly, it brings you closer to home. Your dog will appreciate the jogging opportunity, if nothing else.

[themountie]

Yes, I thought it might ameliorate the situation, being away from home again. Even Chicago had an outdoors of sorts... I'm afraid neither of us do well without fresh air. You don't feel the same-- I'm sorry, I never got your name.

[maybebatman]

Boyd Crowder. And I'm actually quite fond of the outdoors, coming from Eastern Kentucky. It's more that... well, I'm not sure how ready I am to confront an illusion of home.

Besides, I'd need an escort, or at least a permission slip to go in there.

[themountie]

You're an inmate, then? [The inmates are so polite! He feels good about this.] It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Crowder.

[maybebatman]

Likewise, Constable Fraser.

[ He's sorry to give you a wrongful impression of the general inmate population. ]

And yes, I am. I guess the lack of fashionable jumpsuits makes us harder to identify.

[themountie]

That seems like a good thing, in a non-traditional program such as this. I'm sure it fosters a sense of community and trust. [Yes, he's really serious.]

Would you say you're coming along well here, Mr. Crowder? If you don't mind my asking.

[maybebatman]

It's certainly less offensive to the eyes, and maybe it does help bridge the inmate-warden gap somewhat. A sense of community and trust, though... that might be pushin' it a little.

[ The earnest optimism is pretty endearing, though. ]

I'm doing alright, Constable, but I haven't sprouted wings and a halo yet, so I figure I still have some distance to go.

[themountie]

Nobody's perfect, Mr. Crowder. And I'm sure you're doing your best -- I'm sure most people here are. [Everyone, he does not say, because he's not quite as naive as he lets on.]

Do you have yourself a Warden yet?

[maybebatman]

No, not yet.

You seem to have a very positive view on people, Constable. Where does it come from, if you don't mind me asking? Law enforcement isn't a field where one tends to see the best mankind has to offer.