Entry One: Video Entry

[themountie]

[The camera turns on to show what appears to be an actual cabin in the woods, quite small, but complete with a roaring fire blazing in the hearth. The man holding the camera is wearing full Mountie regalia, including a Stetson hat, and looks pleased as punch.]

My thanks for the accommodations, Admiral. It's rather more space than I need, but I'm sure I'll finds ways to fill it.

[There's a bark from offscreen, and the man raises an eyebrow and says, quite pointedly:] No. Not with Krispy Kremes. We don't even have a Krispy Kreme on board, as far as I know.

[He turns his attention back to the camera, clearing his throat.] I beg your pardon, everyone. My name is Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP. I first came to the Barge-- well, that's not important right now, but I'll be here as a warden for the time being. I'm very much looking forward to it. [Horrifyingly, this appears to be genuine.]

Comments

voice;

[plays]

...

[... Heavens.]

... Well, that's a new one.

voice;

[themountie]

I'm sorry?

Re: voice;

[zeitgeists]

What are you supposed to be?

voice;

[themountie]

Canadian.

Re: voice;

[zeitgeists]

Hmm... that explains it. Do you ever spontaneously break into song and dance?

voice;

[themountie]

Well, there is the musical ride... But not spontaneously, no. And not for quite some time.

voice forever

[plays]

It is such a disappointment to hear that I can hardly express it in words. What's the musical ride?

why not

[themountie]

It's an equestrian event held every year by some of the RCMP's best horsemen. No actual singing and dancing, of course, but they do parade to music, hence the name.

I'm the laziest

[plays]

Are the horses trained prancers?

Eh!

[themountie]

Oh, yes, certainly. They're some of our finest parade horses.

Re: Eh!

[plays]

That makes up slightly for you not being able to whistle the birds down from the treetops and get them all chirping in chorus.

Re: Eh!

[themountie]

I appreciate that... I think.

What's your name, son?

[zeitgeists]

Call me Joshua. The pleasure's all mine.

[What a lie that was.]

[themountie]

[One that he nonetheless chooses to believe, for the moment.] It's nice to meet you, Joshua.

[zeitgeists]

Naturally! I am sure you and your dog will have a whale of a time here, without Krispy Kremes or any modern diversions. I assume the Krispy Kreme you were used to ran a power cord to the American border, where the generator to provide electricity to the business sat chugging away? At least we have electricity and running water here!

[themountie]

Ah. I think you're operating under something of a misconception, son: most places in Canada are now quite up to date, and there are few left where power and water can't be found. For most of the year, at least -- those Yukon winters can get a bit dicey. [GOD, HE MISSES THE YUKON.]

It's not all that different from certain very rural towns in the States, as a matter of fact. Not to mention, Alaska, which faces its own unique challenges as America's northernmost locale.

[zeitgeists]

Really? Tell me more.

[themountie]

Gladly! On which topic?

[plays]

The tribulations of Alaska.

In which I am just too damn lazy.

[themountie]

[The resulting lecture is as factually correct and informative as it is dry and dull. Of course, it's geared to the late 90s, but Fraser touches briefly on a host of problems, including poverty, alcoholism, isolation -- and, of course (perhaps most importantly to him), the issues of Native Americans.

At the end, if Joshua lets him get through the whole thing, he honestly looks sort of surprised that he did. He usually gets cut off about two sentences in.]

I understand. I understand so well.

[zeitgeists]

[Joshua indeed lets him carry on through the whole thing, politely quiet (or maybe just diverting himself elsewhere while Fraser rambles - who knows?). He's ready with a quick response once the lecture is finished though.]

Do you know that because it's a personal passion? Or did somebody twist your arm to get you to learn it?

[themountie]

[That makes him look even more surprised. Why are those the options?]

Well, neither, really. I do find it interesting, but I also think it's generally important to stay informed and appraised of current political situations, in particular ones that are so close to home. Both geographically and metaphorically, in this case. After all, the far northern territories share many of those issues.

[plays]

[Joshua has funny standards, that's all. But you'll never get an answer if you don't ask, Fraser!]

A man of the world, or at least a slice of it! Admirable, when that man is a Canadian.

[themountie]

[Pause.]

Do you... have something against Canada, Joshua? [His voice is utterly neutral.]

[plays]

[... LAUGHS internally... really hard...]

What if I did?